Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Animal Crossing: New Leaf - Diary Entry 1

This town must be smoking some REAL strong weed, and I want some.

Ever since arriving at Essendon the townsfolk have looked up to me and called me their mayor. Come on! Really?! Here I am wanting to move to a new place and start a new life and everyone thinks I'm someone I'm not. Hell, I even got a letter from the real mayor who was like "...it's up to you! You'll do great!".

Great you say?

I was first greeted with a lovely pitfall, just lying around. This town is up to something...

They were planning for me. Time to return the favour.

I can't delay much longer, I have to start on my plans immediately. 
This town is going to become my bitch.

After a couple of days catching all the fish in the lake and selling all the apples lying around town (The store is buying them, so why isn't anyone else smart enough to do it??) I decided to flex my mayoral muscles and post a bulletin on the bulletin board outside the train station. It went a little something like this:

I tried to add a classy side to an otherwise uneventful bulletin board.

Damn wenches better start paying up. This mansion I'm trying to build with that sleazy raccoon Nook won't come cheap. Then again, the 39,000 bell opening loan is pretty cheap, if you know the right places to sell. Apparently Nook's kid and that new Re-Tail place have the same prices. I don't care, as long as I'm getting sweet sweet bells.

The first person I met was Isabelle and it's very clear she wants the D. Why else would she be the mayor's assistant? She'll probably be the first to turn over to my side of thinking and if we work together, Essendon will fall.

This bitch. She's here 24 hours a day. Perfect as my very own personal assistant...

I've also started to make profiles on each of my residents so I can keep tabs on them, know when to please them so they can give me some bells. Anyway, they are:

- Moe, the cat. This little pussy keeps following me around. Hell, his house is right next door to my office. He needs to be dealt with first...

He didn't end up coming back home, but he will. He will...

- Camofrog, the frog. He wants an orchid mantis. Ain't no-one got time fo dat!

- Coach, the... I don't know what he is exactly. A bear? Whatever...He's a fitness freak and his house shows it. I think the best way to sabotage him would be to give him chocolate or something, if I can find any of that stuff at the useless shops.

- Peaches, the horse. She loves them apples. Also she's too nice for her own good. I mean, who puts a borrowed shirt in a present box just to return it?

- Pinky, the panda. Thinks she's cute in her dazed top. I think she'd look better dead on the floor. She also thought that I asked her for a jungle-camo shirt. I didn't. She must be the drug addict in town A.K.A my future supplier of not just free shirts.

We've had a new resident already, the very socialable sheep Timbra. All she wants to do is get everyone together to eat cake and learn more about each other. If this happens, it would make my plan all the more easier. Plus my bomb won't require too large an explosion. Only time will tell. There's also one more resident coming in tomorrow. Her name is Tammy and if she's another furry like most of the others, I'm going to have to hurry my acquisition of an axe.

Anyway, time to see what happens tomorrow. Once I pay off this initial debt with the crafty Nook I'll be able to see exactly what can happen around this town...


P.S If someone can equip me with an axe, I will spare all the trees in their village. And by trees, I mean all the fruit trees.

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